1st Tenant - Sharilyn
Things started when Sharilyn left her parent's house and she needed a place to stay. So I let her stay with me and share my room with her. Gradually for privacy, I move out of the room and move into the master bedroom with Mum and let her have the room to herself. This stint lasted for 1 month before she found a place to rent and move over to Blk 160 where she rented a master bedroom for 1 year, brought her Parc Rosewood 1 bedroom condo, stayed for 6 years, sold, married, stayed at her husband's family home for 2 years before moving to her current martial place - The Garden Residences.
2nd Tenant - 2nd Brother
One day, 2nd Bro came back here and look for mummy. He spoke to mummy and told her that his ex-wife started divorce proceeding and he no longer feel safe in the house. So thing move along and he moved back and gradually took over my room since his weekend visit turns into full stay over give the condition of his home where his ex-wife strip it bare till literally "brand new" handover state from HDB and make it impossible to live there without any amenities. The divorce proceeding was lengthen and complex. In addition Covid hits and his stay lasted for 2.5 year from May 2019 up till Oct 2021 until he got ownership of his home and reno was completed and he moved back into the home he can called his own.
3rd Tenant - Dicator Lim, Polly and Limbo
Singapore was their last but final option. HK was returned to China in 1997 but China doctrines gradually seep/enforce in HK. Result in clashes and riots arises. With Covid, riots came to an erupt stop. This family decided it is time to move out of HK for Limbo's future and their 1st choice was Sydney (best IB school). However future for them is bleak as it is tough to get PR given they are not working there and wouldn't be able to own a house. 2nd choice was UK where Polly holds a BNO. However given Dicator will remain to work in HK, safety and security is an issue where mother and daughter stays in UK. Singapore was their last choice. They managed to secure a full IB school placement @ Chatsworth and thankfully was granted MOE exemption after 10 weeks wait. Plan was to rent a place and managed to found one @ the Hillier for SGD3.5K/month, contractual for 2 years. Dad got to know and decided to show hand. With Dad, Mum, mother in law loan, they managed to squeeze out the downpayment for a condo. After a series of house finding, they managed to found their ideal place - 2 bedroom 653 sqft freehold at Natura, which have a 100% fengshui. Total damage 950k. Dad loan 50k, Mum loan 50k. OTP 5 Jul, completion 7 Oct.
Anyway back to topic. My room have its 3rd tenant, this type a family. Anyway, once again i am being "chased" out of my room as i got to evacuate it. This time, i had to evacuate my drawers under my bed and 1 side of the hanging area + table top of both my pedestal. What make it worse i can't really evacuate, neither do i have full access to my things in the cupboard. Adding to the inconvenience, despite making the effort to clean the common toliet, they have decided they will prefer to use the master bedroom toliet instead. In addition, given Dicator have meetings from time to time, i gave up our my computer table for his use and even lend him use the master bedroom during office hours for his convenience. Although we all knew the washing machine was due for replacement, they were the pushing force for us to get a washer replacement ASAP.
Dealing with my feelings
Given the dramatic development of tenancy of my room, gradually but surely the unjust feelings and de-ownership build up. Since young, I have always a room on my own. I grew up sleeping with my helper as she needed to care for me. Due to financial difficulty, we no longer have a helper and since then, I have stayed alone and had a room to myself and slowly but surely, it was my safe haven. Gradually, this safe haven is a place I can solely called mine. With the 1st tenancy, I lost my safe haven and slept with Mum for a month. When 1st tenant left, I got my safe haven back and I move back in. However, came 2nd tenant and things changed. As 2nd tenancy was a gradually development, once again I lost my safe haven. Mum have urinary incontinence and from time to time I have learn to live with it and get use to the smell of urine. This wasn't pleasant but gradually I got used to it. 2nd tenancy started with weekend stay and gradually I gave up moving back to my bed because it became more of a hassle logistically and mentally. 2 tenancy was unexpected long, given the complexity. However, things were much easy going with 2nd tenant. Although I shared my space with him but I still have free access to all my things and given his easy nature, we adapt and got use to each other habits, more of him accommodating to us. Even with Covid and working from home from Apr 2021, I got used to working from the living room while he work from the room. Perhaps conflict were milder as we are more inline in thinking and behavior. 2nd tenant move out around Oct 2021 and although he moved out, weekends he do come back and spend time with the family and given I have sleep with Mum for more than 2 years, I got used to it and was lazy to move back to my room.
Anyway my disgruntle feelings build up and it got a lot worse with 3rd tenants. It only been 2 weeks and I am feeling very uneasy to the state that I rather not come home. I guess it is very explosive given - 1) it is additional 3 pax; 2) I have no free access to my stuff in the room; 3) I have to share toliet; 4) I have to give up my office space; 5) there is no "space" for me to wind down (both TVs get hijack, I only have Mum or my phone to turn too) etc etc. To add on, our habits are very difficult. They are very spendthift, use water very heavily, turn on aircon daily, fengshui driven etc etc. On our side, we are frugal but may appear to be miser to them. The vast difference makes conflict more apparent and yesterday an explosion happened.
I was feeling very vexed and was already very unhappy and hence gave the cold shoulder and finally he snapped. He say nasty words - I have been unwelcoming since the day they came, have been giving them the black mask and if this is the treatment, he would rather stay in a hotel and not come here. This is not even my house. To be honest, I anticipated fiction but never expect things to come to such situation.
Things that I can't stand - Polly and Limbo do not clean up after themselves, left things around the house. As there are many people in this house, the space in this house get lesser as there are more things and everyone will need to make the effort to keep the house slightly tidy. Worse is Mum can't stand and clean up after them. Even I don't do this to my Mum, who is she. Haiz, I am 鸡蛋里挑骨头. Oh well, in the end Mum is adapting much better and become the official peacemaker. Alcina, try your best to be accommodating, it is only 4 to 6 months and then they will be off to their new condo and peace will be restored. You can do it, it is just another hurdle and challenge.
